I am so excited. Father has had a vision, and he says we are going out into the wilderness. They say my father is very holy, that he has been given wisdom by God. I love him very much.
We travelled two days out into the desert, camping under the stars. At night, sitting by the fire, my father told me stories. Of the man who wrestled an angel and was given the holy Name. Of the woman who dared everything for a taste of heaven and was given the world. Of the carpenter who because a fisherman who became a legend.
Father says we have arrived. We climbed the mountain that had loomed all day ahead of us, and have stopped halfway from the top.
He is building an altar now. I am so excited. We are going to make a sacrifice unto God.
But we didn't bring a lamb. And there are no oxen here in the desert. I am all of a sudden frightened. How can I be scared if I have faith? But I am.
The altar is finished. Father is sharpening the knife. He is a holy man. I must not be afraid. But I am.
Father has commanded me to lie down upon the altar. He whispered in my ear that God is good, and that I need not be afraid. But I am.
A blinding light has appeared. It is descending from a cloud. How can father not see it?
I am transported. I see a flaming chariot. I see a golden calf. I see a silver mirror. I see a hill of skulls. I see seven stars and seven trumpets and a beast with ten horns. I see. I am.
I see father on his knees. He is weeping. I stand, and walk over to comfort him. Do not be afraid, he said.
I am not. Not anymore.
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