There is a hole in me,

March 10

There is a hole in me,
And the darkness lives in that hole.

At a young age, I tried to fill it.
I picked up obsessions
Like a bus at rush hour picks up passengers.

My childhood was consumed
By a lust for satisfaction,
By an attempt to bandage my wounded soul
With one obsession or another.

And then I found drugs.
That obsession destroyed my life.
It hurt everyone I held dear.
It almost fucking killed me,
More than once.

But then I found the Rooms,
And became obsessed with recovery.
It's better than the alternative, yes.
But I'm tired of obsessions.

I want to learn to live lightly,
To not cling to my existence
In desperate defence against the darkness.

I don't know how.

But She does.

Therein lies the Way.